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Saturday, April 01, 2006

Objection, Overruled

My friend, girlfriend X, has raised objections to my 'parallel' dating and blogging about both. Girlfriend X is an attorney, a divorced 40-something woman and very opinionated. I love her for her in-your-face, matter-of-factness. Keep that in mind as you read. A snippet of our conversation this afternoon.

GF-X: I think dating two people at the same time is a mistake.

Jim: Counselor, I think it is entirely plausible to get to know two people in tandem.

GF-X: Plausible, yes, but not wise. You are creating a competitive environment; they will both feel pressure which will not allow the relationship to evolve naturally.

Jim: Objection, conjecture, you might feel that way but I think its unfair of you to project your feelings onto two people you don't know. Not everyone thinks like you.

GF-X: Fair, but wouldn't it make more sense resource-wise to just date one person at a time.

Jim: Yes, if resources were in question here, you would have a point, but alas they are not in question.

Let me also add that I think you are missing a few facts in the case.

Exhibit A - I'm 95% confident that I will leave Dallas in January. 4YA guy is also confident that he will have to leave Dallas to further his education in healthcare. HD Guy will almost certainly leave Dallas in either Sept or Dec, destination NYC or Boston. This backdrop paints all of us into a different interpersonal dynamic. In fact, it makes us embrace dating for what it truly should be - a opportunity to get to know another person without expectation. Dating does not necessarily lead to a relationship, not by design nor by motivation.

Exhibit B - The dynamics between two men are fundamentally different than between a man and woman. And unless you have been a man in a relationship with a man, your opinion on this matter is a moot point.

Exhibit C - Generally I do date one person at a time but this is largely a situtational reality, date-o-nomics, supply and demand, usually there are not two people in the same chunk of time that I would consider dating. I think ignoring one for some contrived serial-dating rule would be foolish.

GF-X: You make some excellent points but I still think its unwise.

Jim: I'm OK with you thinking that :)

GF-X: Now, don't you think blogging about both is unwise. Now that really creates a competitive envirnoment. Do you really think they want to know details about each other?

Jim: Objection, badgering. And to answer, yes, this is paying hommage to open communication, you know, that thing that helps to foster working relationships.

GF-X: There is such a thing as too much detail.

Jim: I think the level of detail is appropriate, furthermore, most of those details are generalizations and blurbs of humor. Neither are disturbed by it, in fact, I think they get a kick out of reading about themselves through my perspective.

GF-X: I still object.

Jim: Overruled.

I should have been an attorney :)


Blogger The Persian said...

I haven't dated anyone in so long and your post made me completely envious. I should get out more and meet people.


4:09 AM

Blogger Jim said...

LOL, yes you should Jim.

Oh, just make sure you date one at a time and don't blog about it :)

8:51 AM

Blogger Derek said...

yep you should have been an attourney, lol.

9:54 PM

Blogger Jim said...

LOL, maybe that will be my next career Derek :)

1:26 AM

Blogger Sangroncito said...

I'd be happy with just ONE date in San Francisco...I can't remember the last one I had in this "gay capital of the world".

9:58 AM

Blogger Jim said...

Youre attractive, intelligent, articulate and well-traveled. Did you miss the line forming at the left? :)

5:32 PM

Blogger Jim said...

I don't know WHY these tenured attorneys would even attempt to debate you. Don't they know who you are!? *LOL
Funny story Jimbo....

10:50 AM

Blogger Jim said...

Exactly Jim! ;) Trust me, she does it purely for her own entertainment value ... LOL.

1:16 PM

Blogger Gregor said...

Well done. Want to argue my case for me Wednesday night?

8:24 AM

Blogger Jim said...

You betcha Gregor ... I am becoming proficient arguing cases, ANY case; its helps to have an attorney-friend for practicing :)

1:16 PM


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