Another Body On The Pile - RIP Date3

I have a neighbor, I call him Gladys Kravitz. I've been calling him that for so long I've forgotten his real name. He's nosey, damn nosey and he lives right behind me. I cringe that his back windows face mine; I keep my blinds closed and make all my guests come in and out through the front.

Apparently I need to step up the stealth. I ran into Gladys in the courtyard.

Gladys: "So who was that I saw you with the other night when you were getting into that nice Infiniti?"

Me: "Date."

Gladys: "Really? How many does that make for you this week, I think I saw you on another earlier this week. "

Me: "I dont know, four or five, its been a slow week." :)

Gladys: "My god thats too many! Why so many? Thats not healthy!"

Me: "Im kidding of course."

Gladys: "Well how did the last one go?"

Me: "It didnt."

Gladys: "Oh well I guess thats just another body on the pile for you, isnt it?"

Me: "Pretty much. Good seeing you again, I've got another victim lined up so you'll understand if I dont stay and chat. "

Gladys is annoying and bitter. Its always a fun house mirror conversation with him. I can remember telling him about my aunt moving an old 1890's house onto her property and renovating it.

Me: "Its just great, its like 4200 square feet, its amazing that you can move a house that big!"

Gladys: "Oh thats nothing, my parents house is 9000 square feet"

Me: "But did they move it?"

Gladys: "No, they had it custom built, everything is imported."

And? Try to follow the conversation please we were talking about moving a house. Funny, in each conversation his parents house has grown another 2000 square feet. I think the next time his parents house comes up they will have annexed New Mexico to handle the additional square footage.

Although Gladys exaggerates in most every way, the date analogy was correct. This is also the reason they get DateX names intially. No sense in getting any closer until they earn the minimum - trust and respect.

Date3 and I had great dinner. I found out Date3 is an attorney, patents. This would explain the sauve ability to argue a point and win, not a feat most are willing to take on with me. The post dinner conversation is where things went south.

Date3: "So listen my friends are having a party Sunday, you should come. You will like all of my real friends, they are A-list people, everyone is 30-35, extremely good looking and they all make 6 figures. "

A-list? 6 figures? Extemely good looking? 30-35? Where to begin? I feel a rant coming on.

Me: "I'm not sure what you mean by A-list, I think that is a term I heard in the 70's but noone has used that since Donna Summer had a career. "

Me: "Also, I am confused as to why would you limit yourself to people that are 30-35, extremely good looking and make six figures. I dont mean to sound judgemental but that sounds superficial, not to mention monotonous."

Date3: "Not superficial, we just dont really have anything in common with folks outside of that age range. And honestly unless someone makes quite a bit of money they will not be able to participate in activities that we enjoy. "

Me: "This might be a good time to tell you that I will be 42 in September. "

Date3: "Oh."

Me: "Also I am in graduate school so I am on a limited budget and probably wont be able to participate in your activities."

Date3: "Oh. Well I still think you will fit in, you have a great face and you dress well."

Me: "LOL, now I feel like I'm pledging some silly sorority. You know counselor, personally I am looking for people that are a little more open minded and let me tell you why. I have friends that range from 19 to 84 years old. They come from all socio-economic, religous and cultural backgrounds imaginable. For example, Clair Luce, you've probably heard of the little company her grandfather started, its call Time, Inc. Shes a billionaire. Then there are my friends in college that work retail for slightly over minimum wage. I find them all attractive in some capactity but I doubt they would measure up to your friends' alternative standards. Clearly they do not fall into your restrictive parameters."

Date3: "Oh. "

Me: "And back to my original statement to you a week ago, we travel in incompatible circles. "

And now that vaguely familiar sound; the subtle thud of another body on the pile :)