Q Boss
About two months ago, HD Guy cancelled his Netflix subscription and asked if I would put a few movies he didnt get to see on my Blockbuster queue. I gave him my Blockbuster account name and password and told him to add away.
I never check my Blockbuster account since it was set up over 5 months ago with more films than I would be able to watch in a year. But this week I noticed that my credit card statement did not have the usual monthly charge from Blockbuster, so I investigated.
I had to laugh. First, HD Guy added the few movies he didn't get to watch. Plus 75 more. He also re-ordered the queue to his liking. He deleted my credit card information from the payment section then added his own, he even upgraded my plan to the next highest level. Wait, it gets better, he added his name to the account.
I find it funny he did all this without mentioning it. I know he likes to be the boss of stuff so it isn't surprising. Its just nice to know that he is an accountable boss.
I'm not going to say a word about this, if he wants to be the boss of the queue, I'll let him :)
More on last week's restaurant week and the Austin trip soon.
posted by Jim at 9:05 AM
9 Comments:
Oh my,
I DON'T like the sound of that. You gave him your permission to add movies to "YOUR" account and he made it "OUR" account?
This is a red flag. People will say all the time that hindsight is 20/20. You need to see what has happened and ask yourself "how you would advise a friend regarding this situation?"
Personally I would never, ever do that to my bf. Especially if you don't live together. I feel it show a great lack of respect for your privacy, wishes and/or feelings. Had he discussed this with you, then that's different.
As for the I just wanted to surprise you by paying the bill. Bull. Then why did he also rearrange the order of your queue? Mistakes in relationships are made this exact way. And your pretending it's ok for him to be boss speaks so loudly it's deafening.
You do what you need to, but I reccomend you confront him regarding this issue. And when he uses his "nice ass in thos pants" comment (which I assume translates into "shut up" - only nice) Don't fall for it. It's your account, your queue and he was supposed to be given the treat of picking out movies (and yes - 75 movies is excessive). He was not given permission to change your entire account to suit his needs & wishes.
This is a red flag.
9:54 AM
Oh Ryan, chill.
You must've had a really bad movie renting expereince.
Jim is intelligent. Where things matter, I'm sure everything's in check.
11:05 AM
I am chill,
I consistently see smart people do stupid things in the name of 'love.' Everyone does, otherwise Oprah would only be about child predators.
It takes two people to ruin a relationship. The person who does wrong - and the person who allows it. Everyone makes mistakes. But not everyone stands by idly after such mistakes.
I don't question Jim's intelligence, after all I've seen his report card. But people in love do stupid things. And sometimes tend to turn a blind eye to obvious warning signs. This much I know is true.
I'm not suggesting dumping him, and I do believe I wrote "do what you have to do." But my recommendation to confront HD Guy was made to give Jim the driver's seat in his own life. I didn't recommend a fight, nor did I recommend he demand everything be changed back. Merely confront him and let him know that what he did was not exactly a 'smooth move.' And that the next time HD Guy decides to change things, that there's someone else who is part of the decision making process of his own personal life and within their relationship.
People treat you the way you allow them to. There's no secret to that.
12:02 PM
Ryan, I'm already aware he likes to be in charge of things, small trivial things like movie Q's.
Bascially in 3 months he will move to NYC in Dec and I will move to Austin, at that point it doesnt really matter because our time together will be over. But, in the mean time, if he wants to pay for my movies (and his), what the hell :)
4:00 PM
Yes, Scott, I just find it funny, still do :)
4:02 PM
You're smart...I'm not worried. I think it's cute. ENJOY your three months; over analyzing kills it. HAVE FUN!
7:02 PM
Right Steve, not to dismiss Ryan's comments, because they are valid, very.
But at the moment I have an on/off switch - either I am happy with someone or not. If I'm not, I will analyze. From there its just a short, high-speed bitch-sled ride to a curb kickin'.
But I'm not there yet :)
10:08 PM
I am a master at curb kickin'! OMG, did we go to the same school??? I graduated with honors :)
10:59 PM
Steve, you're just a masterkicker from way back :)
7:34 AM
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