Fauxmosexual

I've befriended this 22 year old girl at school, Yvonne. She is a knock out beautiful girl with an equally attractive boyfriend, Clay. I don't know why I always ask this question of couples, since it has no relevance at all, but I did ask her where they met.

"Round Up", she says

Puzzled I ask, "You mean the Round Up, as in the gay country and western bar?"

"Yeah, weird isnt it!", she says.

Yeah, it is weird to think that two straight people meet in a gay bar. Not that they arent welcome there but it just seems odd. Very odd.

"Yeah, theres a story, tell it!", since I know I'm missing detail and this will make for good blog fodder.

"Well I know this great gay couple and they take me dancing there since neither one of them can follow and I can. I like it there since I can have fun and not worry about swatting away horny little boys. So one night my friends introduce me to some of their other friends and they introduce me to Clay".

"So, he just wandered into the Round Up without knowing where he was?" - I ask, still curious and not really believing this.

"No, he went there with his gay friends too." - she said in a matter of fact tone.

Okie dokie, I am a well-educated, well-travelled and cosmopolitan person, I realize there is not a division between orientations anymore. Certainly gay and straight mix and get along just fine. However, I find it a little odd that Clay not only knows gay men, he spends whole evenings in gay bars with them.

"Didnt you find him being there a bit odd?", I asked still not believing.

"No, hes a fauxmosexual" - she said as if I knew what that was.

"A what?"

"A fauxmosexual, you know, a straight guy that befriends gay men to get up to speed on fashion, socially acceptable behavior, romantic pointers -- plus gay men usually know the hottest straight women -- you know, like me!", Yvonne giggled

"So, this is like a self-imposed Queer Eye For The Straight Guy thing?" - I said, saracsm noticeable.

"Uh huh, plus he's told me that he kinda likes the attention and being unobtainable. He's very secure in his sexuality, which is hot." - she said, smirking.

Well, you learn something new everyday.

She adds - "I'm just glad he isnt a metrosexual!"

Yes, theres more -- Metrosexuals.

Metrosexuals are different. They are a breed of heterosexual men that have been bombarded by inner city metro style, culinary skill, day spas and high-brow art. They do not attempt to meet women by leveraging off of the fact that gay men have many straight women as friends. They speak and do as gay men but aren't.

So, in essence, Fauxmosexuals are pretending to be Metrosexuals in order to meet Heterosexuals.

Just when you thought life couldn't get any more complicated.